| Cosplay Bottom Ten:
"Springtime Seifuku" | April 2004 |
Springtime is here, the cherry blossoms are
blooming, and a new school term is beginning in Japan (well, it started April
6th), so to celebrate, this month's Bottom Ten covers what may be both
the easiest and most difficult topic ever: SAILOR SUITS!!! Now, we all know that
at any anime convention or Mitsuwa market we're prone to see otaku running
around in seifuku (or anime school uniform costumes) trying to act Japanese, and
there is no end to the wealth of horrible pictures on the internet to remind us
of this tragedy. For that reason, it was REALLY hard to find ones that were SO
bad they stood above all the others, whether they were series-specific
"unique" uniforms (like Utena or Sailor Moon) or just the generic ol'
blue-and-whites. However, I am pleased to report that our effort has suceeded in
every way. Enjoy what is sure to be one of our most popular Cosplay Bottom
Ten featurettes ever! This is truly a gallery of horrors for the ages!
#10 |
Bishoujo
Sumo Sailor Moon |
| This
was done by professional sumo wrestlers as a promotional stunt. I'm very
pleased with the results. XD
Let's face it: their costumes are better
than any others on this page, they're much funnier than any joke cosplay
could be, and THEY'RE SUMO WRESTLERS. This owns.
I'm also really, REALLY glad the skirts
are nice and long and the costumes aren't tight and form-fitting. Lessons
to be learned.
|
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| #9 |
Utena
& Anthy |
| I
love the contrast here, especially the fact that neither one of them is
wearing a costume that fits them. Did they switch or something? |
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| #8 |
Mediocre
Senshi Seramyu |
| Everything
about this picture depresses me. Maybe it's the lighting. Or maybe it's
the fact that these costumes suck, the people are uninteresting, and
there's some really ugly crossplay going on. Is that Jack Black I see?
|
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| #7 |
SAILOR
BUBBA! |
| Where
would a feature on inappropriate seifuku be without the original Sailor
Bubba?
However, I have to say this about Sailor
Bubba: he knows what he does is ridiculous. He's doing it to be funny.
Whether you find it funny or not is another thing, but his cause is far
more noble than those of anyone else on this fucking page. For that, I
salute you, Sailor Bubba. Keep crushing otaku fantasies.
|
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| #6 |
Mega-Michiko |
I
hate Battle Royale. It's a stupid and needlessly violent franchise (I
could probably enjoy it for that much, actually) that manages to convince
otaku it's a profound social statement. Whether it's interesting or not,
it still inspires costumes like THIS...
Looks like she had to eat her classmates
to survive.
|
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| #5 |
Creepy
Cosplay Queen |
| Apparently
this woman TAKES COMMISSIONS on costumes. Aside from her incredible creepy
collection of anime Barbie & Ken dolls and other shit she makes
(poorly) herself, HER COSTUME SUCKS. A professional costume-maker
has a shit costume with cheap satiny reflective crap that is TRANSPARENT
-- you can see her bra through it.
I'm more creeped out than words can
express.
|
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| #4 |
Sailor
Drew Carey |
It's
Sailor Drew Carey, bitching about his lame otaku life! Looks like Mimi got
at him with her makeup kit, though. |
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| #3 |
Sailor
Xiola Gorilla Rape! (... o.O;) |
Number
3 is always somewhat pornographic... but this is downright fucking
disturbing. NEVER DO
A GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH FOR "SAILOR" and "COSPLAY"!!!! NEVER
DO IT!!!! NEVER!!!! SERIOUSLY!!!!! (Her
page also features clown porn.) >.< WHY? |
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| #2 |
Nekki...
UTENA?! |
|
HOLY FUCKING SHIT! I'm
pretty sure this is THE ONE AND ONLY Nekki
Basara in an Utena costume! Did
my dose of Vitamin Shota do the trick and turn him into a crossplayer?
Ugh... I'm sorry, world. |
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| #1! |
Sailor
Courtney Love |
|
Winner of the sixth Mega-Amelia
Award (our half-year anniversary!), for
being a junkie cosplay slut that killed Kurt Kobain, is... SAILOR
COURTNEY LOVE!!!
(Parole pending.)
|
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| BONUS! |
Crazy
Fucking Bitch |
|
This isn't technically cosplay. It's far
more insane and creepy than anything I could've possibly imagined.
I'm not sure if this girl did it herself
or if some creepy otaku photoshopped someone's face into some ecchi fanart
(my guess is the latter), but either way this picture should not exist. IT
SHOULD NOT!!!
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