GOD, HOW I HATE YOU, ANIME-LOVE.COM!!!

I think you should check yourself into a psych ward. Seriously, why do you want to completely sacrifice your life just to play the hero? You are good friends with this woman. That is all you should be. Offer her the support she needs when she is down. Listen to her when she needs an ear. But by golly, don't marry her! Not that she isn't a nice person and all that, but she is her own person. She has made her own life choices and has to live with them. If she does not have skills to get a job, encourage her to get some training. If she can't really support her kids, have someone enforce her husband to pay child support. If she won't take "charity" maybe her parents or some friends or someone at her church would be willing to help babysit while she is out getting that job training. Don't sacrifice your life just to make her life easier. You would both be miserable in the long run if you did that. Then you would end up being just another ex and she will lose a good friend. — *V*

I have a question that I'm sure gets alot of guys, and hopefully you can answer it for all of us: What is with the "I'm only attracted to guys that disrespect me" attitude that a lot of girls get? I mean, they go get guys like this, then they complain about getting abused in one way or another, really now, is this REALLY the guys' fault? If the girl is asking for it, then more power to him I say. But if I have to disrespect a girl just to go out with her, I just may go gay instead. — Fed Up With Girls

Dear Fed Up:

And YOU are the one fed up with girls? Maybe its really the other way around! You think girls go around looking for abuse on purpose? That they are "asking for it"? What cave were you born in? I'd crawl back under that rock quickly, buddy, because with that attitude, you will never get a date. Women do NOT go walking around carrying signs saying, "Hey abuse, me please." or "Girl wants to be treated like shit. Apply here." Females are not that different then males when they crave things in a partner: trust, respect, and caring emotion. If you can't recognize this then maybe you shouldn't be dating women and maybe you SHOULD turn gay, because you really need a jolt up the butt to change your attitude. — *V*

Dear Love Senshi:

There are many things I would rather talk with you about than to scold you. However, with your response to Fed Up With Girls I can't stand by, and watch you make such a mistake.
First of all this guy is an Idiot! His question was truly poorly worded from the start, but even still you missed the boat. I suggest you re-read his question again. Even though he didn't express himself well, you have a guy who would rather give up on his heterosexuality than be disrespectful to a girl. Come on, does a guy like that really deserve such a lashing?

He never should have asked you such a question. From your response I am sure you don't have the psychological background or experience to answer it. However, let me assure you from experience that there women (and also men) out there who do seek abusive relationships. I cared a great deal for a woman in such a relationship. She would always fall for the guy who treated her like dirt! All of her boyfriends were mentally and physically abusive to her. Many a night, she would cry on my shoulder about how they treated her. No matter what I would say though, it would always end up with her making excuses for them. The day her current boyfriend broke her arm was the last straw. I told her how much I cared, and begged her to get out and get the counseling she needed. It still didn't do any good it only drove her deeper into his arms. He quickly took her out of state, and I never heard from her again.
No normal psychologically-healthy girl would seek abuse on purpose, but what he asked about is a real and serious psychological problem for many. Please re-read his question apologize for missing the boat, and write him a response that calls attention to the problem. Maybe that sort of response will wake up a girl, and show her it doesn't have to be that way!— Safir

Dear Love Senshi,

I think you rather misinterpreted his predicament. I've noticed the same trend as well (that some women still remain with someone though they are abused in that relationship or treated with the same respect one would give horse manure hehe), I've even dated a girl who went through that. Anyway, his last line was "But if I have to disrespect a girl just to go out with her, I just may go gay instead."
The fact of it is that ... he doesn't want to have to treat a girl like dung in order to get a relationship out of it. Many men feel the same way, and resent how girls *I refuse to think of any female that would let them be treated in such a manner as a woman* sometimes tend to that behaviour. Not that all females are the same, but in my area it's basically the rule of thumb. For example, I asked a girl out, she said no, then some guy (I believe the term is wigger) said something along the lines of "yo bitch, I think it's time for us to mack aight, I make you ***, aight," and she was like all love-love.
I hate anyone who lets themself be degraded when there're other options. It's not like I'm a catch for that manner, but I rate myself higher than someone who can't speak proper english. I feel you owe "Fed up with girls" an apology though, for that matter. You misinterpreted what he said, so it's only right :) There are girls who complain about having a boyfriend that abuse them but still stick with them, and if they're to let that happen, then that is their problem. Trash attracts trash.
And since this is an advice column ... is it just me or does a goatee and long hair turn most females off? I just don't get it. :) Probably cause of my grandiose posterior, but hey... it's cushy. — A Patron of Peace

Dear Safir and Patron of Peace:

"Trash attracts trash"?!! Before you start blasting me for being to harsh, may I return the compliment saying several of your remarks are insensitive and just plain egotistical. Fed Up With Girls put women in a stereotype, and it seems that you are as well. Have either of you ever thought that these women who are in these abusive relationships are incapable of getting out of them? That they do not recognize the signs when they get into such relationships.
As I said in the previous column, women, and men as well, do not intentionally seek out abuse. If you recognize this in another woman or someone you care for, don't whine and complain like you are doing, saying, "why can't they get out? Don't they know there are other options?" Or "Why do they always go for jerks instead of us nice guys?" Such thoughts are just plain selfish.
There are several reasons why women tend to stay in such relationships, or get into them time after time:
Fear - Women fear the physical harm that might come if they attempt to leave. Love - Women may truly have deep feelings for the abusive partner. Low Self-Esteem - After being in an abusive relationship there is a feeling that they can do no better than their current relationship. Promises - Promises that this abuse will never happen again. Abuse = Love - Confusion between being loved and being controlled by their partner. Guilt - Being made to think that the abuse is their fault, that they have the problem. Not being believed - A strong fear that nobody will believe them if they speak out against the abuse. Being Alone - To end the relationship could mean a loss of mutual friends, relatives and others associated with the relationship. Thinking they can change them - The belief that over time the woman can change the abusive partner.

Another thing, when you set out to judge, let that be known you leave yourself open to being judged. I sincerely suggest that you acquaint yourself to the signs of abuse, and encourage anyone who you think is being abused to get help. Some other Web sites that give valuable information are:

• Why people stay in abusive relationships More information on the facts I listed above.
• Healthy vs. abusive relationships The traits and behavior of a healthy relationship compared to an abusive one.
• Warning signs of abusive relationships Behaviors and trends to determine if you or someone you know is being abused
• The effects of abuse The consequences abuse has on individuals and the people around them.
• Making changes Information on the different kinds of abuse, your rights as a person, the myths of abuse, and what you can do about it.

  And Peace, as for your other problem, liking or disliking goatees is pure personal preference. Some women like facial hair, others do not. Just keep it neatly trimmed and styled, and your hair as well. An unkempt appearance is never attractive. As long as you like the way you look, that's great. Don't go changing it because someone else thinks it will look better, or you have a better chance of a relationship with them. — *V*

This must be what an "Utena complex" is. Anime-Love dot com: meeting all your needs for fat girls macking.

Scottanime's favorite food is  "okunomiaki." I love okonomiyaki （お好み焼き） myself, but I'd better try this delicious "tired of looking at wife" (奥の見飽き[る]） or "wife's beautiful autumn" （奥の美秋） if this guy likes it so much.

Let's repeat that... "THE REST OF MY LIFE IS ANIME." That is the saddest fucking sentence I have ever read in my life.

And also, WTF is it with it with otaku and Pocky? I'll admit, Strawberry and Milk Pocky are tasty, but most otaku like Chocolate Pocky or Men's Pocky, and IT TASTES LIKE SHIT. But that aside, even, what makes otaku (let alone anyone) think that Pocky is the fucking end-all snack of snacks? I don't see any Fuckin' Otaku ever proclaiming their love for Pretz or Calpis, let alone writing LiveJournal entries about oyster crackers or fruit leather. Ramune is delicious, but it's not a symbol of who you are, and drinking it doesn't put you in some special club of the Pocky-eating elite, either. It's a snack. Fuck off.

"i think I need to say Naru Narusegawa from love hina because I just dreamt I was dating her the other day!"

"GRanma, that way I get the best of both worlds. It's like investing in the future, I never know what may happen!"

"WHY DATE ONE!? Li Shaolan (little young but easier to train J/k!). Orphen, Kenshin, Access Time, Vash, Yue, Taikobou, Spike (cause he is Badass), Omi and the Bastard! Just to name a few. I always pick the serious guy though, nuts. To many guys, basically I'm a sucker for a pretty boy :P"

Belldandy. Naru. Girl-type Ranma. THIS IS WHAT FANSERVICE DOES, PEOPLE! IT DESTROYS MINDS! =P The girl who wants to "train" Syaoran also has a host of issues, mostly of the "I'm a fangirl who wants to pretend to be cute to get attention" type, I'll bet. Shota on, crazy girl!